It is easy to get caught up in the fear of what other people may think.
During my separation, I was worried about people judging me… judging my marriage.
I didn’t like the idea that my personal life was on display for all to see and that if people didn’t know the details… they could just make up some of their own.
It was difficult not to “blurt” out my version of the whole entire mess of my situation.
It seemed that if I did just that… at least they would know my side of the story and I could rest easy believing that they would now “understand” me and therefore not judge.
But what was I to do?
Run around making sure everyone got it right?
Would that stop them from gossiping, creating their own opinions, judging?
Then one day, two very important things happened.
First, I accepted the fact that everyone has an opinion and there is nothing I can do to silence it: People will believe what they care to believe no matter what I say or do.
Second, while I was stepping up to tell yet another friend everything about my divorce to fend off a future judgement, they stopped me and started ranting about their own relationship problem in fear that I would make a judgement about them.
Right then and there I stopped speaking out to each and ever person.
I realized that just like me, each person I was choosing to talk to was worked up about their own problems, their own lives, and though my separation and divorce may have been interesting fodder for a few moments of time… it was not consuming their days as it was mine: they were dealing with issues in their own world.
It was funny to know that all of the time I was so concerned about what others’ thought of me they were actually focused on what I thought of them; worried that I would judge them unfairly for how they were dealing with the problems in their own lives.
“Dear God, help me to let go of pride. Help me to focus on moving forward on my spiritual path instead of being caught up in my own ego.”