July 15th: Regret

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I have a friend who likes to say, “I have no regrets. Everything I did led me right to this very place.” And… I would have to agree with her that yes, that is absolutely true… but I still have regrets: Things I said poorly… Choices I wish I hadn’t made… Incidents and actions that changed my life… But I do not use my regrets as a way of chastising myself for an eternity:  I believe that regrets teach me lessons that I could not learn in any other way. I cannot go back in time and fix things… change things… re-run the tape of my life. I must accept life as it is today: regrets and all. But, I can choose to use my regrets as poignant reminders of actions I do not wish to repeat. Today, I know how I want to treat a loved one in a relationship because of my regrets. Today, I know how I want to interact with my family and friends because of my regrets. Today, I know that just for this day, I want to be a kind and empathetic person with no regrets. So instead of obsessing over what cannot be changed, I use my regrets to guide me in the present, to be the person I wish I had been… in my past.

“Dear God, help me to forgive myself the mistakes I have made. Help me to learn from my regrets and move forward with a humble heart.”

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4 thoughts on “July 15th: Regret

  1. I feel like I’m the friend who just said that – I recently wrote a new song and the first line is: “Everything that I have gone through led me to this place. . .” Of course, I agree with what you’ve written. Basking in where I am now has really allowed me to let go of a great deal of sadness about things that happened to me where I had no control in addition to things I wish I could have done differently. I think self-improvement is all about evaluating past mistakes. Moving forward is wonderful and to be celebrated. Great post! 🙂

  2. It’s an amazing song, because it carries so many levels. Isn’t it funny that you wrote that line I wrote, yesterday? My story is on my blog’s home page: http://www.myjourneysinsight.com and the name of my song is “Somewhere I Can’t See.” I would love to hear how you’d sing it. There’s a karaoke there below it – if you feel so inclined.
    I probably should name the song “Love Rescues Me” but the other title appealed to me because of my eyesight issues. I love how it addresses grief, but also the fact that I hold onto hope that there’s someone out there I’ll fall in love with again. Shh. . .that’s my secret. I’m terrified of the thought of dating after 32 years of marriage. I’m 53 going on 22!

  3. Wow – great to read the posts from last year. Sounds like both of you are very creative, talented people! And I agree — I try to “forget” the past and the long road toward the end of the marriage, kicking myself for not doing something better about it before I really got hurt, but you are both so right. Lessons learned, hopefully a bit of wisdom in making new choices about love and life comes next!

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