September 17th: Perspective

Often when I was dealing with my own trying situation I found it hard to keep perspective.

It was so easy to get caught up in my own pain and despair.

One day, my sponsor said to me, “I see that you are suffering, but the quality of your problems are so much better today.”

At first, I felt angry that someone seemed to be minimizing what I was going through but as the day moved on, and my thoughts grew calm, I realized that my sponsor was right.

In the days when my husband was living in his addiction my problems were significantly worse:

Would my husband survive the night?

Would my husband find recovery and be there for our family?

Would my husband be able to work through his guilt, shame, and pain and continue to abstain in his sobriety?

Today I was dealing with our divorce.

Yes, it was a horrible problem to have but I had to look at the reality of the situation: things could be much worse.

We were going through an inevitable break-up but my soon-to-be ex-husband was clean and sober, working a 12-step program, and providing support for our children as he walked through this difficult time.

I was fortunate as well:

I had my health, my children, my home, and a job that brought me joy and financial security, as well as my Al-Anon program to offer me experience, strength, and hope.

Perspective makes all the difference when you are struggling with what “is.”

If you can find a foundation amidst the chaos…

If you can find perspective when you are full of despair…

Then you can focus on what needs to be done to move your life forward.

“Dear God, help me to keep perspective during this trying time. Let me look honestly at how far I have come and how much I have learned as I have walked my path.”

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8 thoughts on “September 17th: Perspective

  1. The quality of the problems are better. I love this.
    I’m so happy to have to WORRY about the LITTLE things again. xoxoxo

    • So true… that comment really put things in perspective for me… my worries today are so small in comparison to what I had to deal with in the past and I am very thankful!

  2. Thank God for you, that’s all I can say in this moment just…thank God for you. I NEEDED this and have felt so alone in my feelings of loss and betrayal. I desperately needed to be reminded that perspective and recovery go hand in hand. Bless you with love.

    • Ashley… I’m here… you will make it through this… I know how you feel… I know how you hurt… I’ve been there. Just keep moving forward and know that my words are here for you each day. 🙂

  3. Once again, this was a great post for me today. Our circumstances are very different, but boy could I relate to the line of “the quality of my problems are much better today.” So true!
    I went through so much being a caregiver to my family – it was always a crisis. Perhaps the difference is that with my health problems I am focused upon myself for the first time. That’s an eye-opener.
    I did pick up that Mindfulness issue (Time Magazine). I’m looking forward to reading it!

    Thanks for always inspiring and supporting me, deedee.

    • Perspective it makes all the difference! I’m glad you are focusing on yourself. You NEED that! I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the Time magazine issue. 🙂 D.

  4. For me focusing on gratitude and our brave wings to move forward to role model for our children health and truth is what keeps me going when I get in the funk of sadness and anger of living in the rollercoaster of addiction and now going through a divorce , the consequences of all of it tends to help. Living by that serenity prayer of having the wisdom to know what I can’t change, control and didn’t cause it tends to help move me forward.

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