I had a hard time believing in a loving Higher Power.
I had grown up believing that God was a punishing God and therefore, I couldn’t fully put my trust into the idea.
I came to a place in my divorce where I was full of despair.
I felt so totally lost that I looked up and said, “Please, please God… just give me a sign.”
My desperation lead me to look for answers and my answers, were to come from my Higher Power.
During this time period, I had been wearing a necklace with three things on it: my wedding band, a 12-step program ring, and the serenity prayer.
I had been having a hard time with all three.
My marriage was in turmoil and I wasn’t willing to “let go.”
I felt the 12-step program had failed us and drove us further apart.
And, I didn’t have serenity for the life of me.
Every morning, I woke up, put that necklace on and held it close to my heart, where I could feel it weigh heavy against my chest all day long.
Until one day, I got up, reached for my necklace and as I lifted it from the table, watched all three items fall off of the chain.
I had never unclasped this chain since I had bought it.
I had slipped it over my head each time I wore it.
I stood there in silent shock.
It was as if my Higher Power had gently reached out a hand, slipped the items off the chain and said, “Let it go.”
That day, I stopped wearing my necklace.
I took the three items and put them inside of my God box.
I knew that I needed to hand them over to my Higher Power.
I needed to believe in the sign I had been given: a loving God was there to guide me through my pain.
“Dear God, help me to recognize your signs. If I ask for your guidance, make me aware of your answers.”