There have been times in my life where I have had to resolve myself to do something that I didn’t necessarily want to do.
When my husband told me he wanted a divorce in December of 2001, and still hadn’t filed any of the paperwork by May 2002, I knew that I would have to set a boundary, and resolve to move forward with the divorce on my own, so that I could continue on with my life instead of living out of control, in a limbo based on my soon-to-be ex-husband’s time frame.
When I chose to go back to school for my higher degrees, in the beginning, it was not for me, it was a resolution that I made so that my children would reap the benefits of my education. By going back to school, I was able to make enough money to stay in my family home, and continue our life there. Knowing I no longer needed to rely on my husband for financial support provided me with security, and boosted my self-esteem.
It is not always easy to make a resolution. Firm decisions are often hard when struggling with boundary issues, self-esteem issues, or insecurities related to past circumstances.
But by making a commitment to the future, we learn to stick to our resolve and walk forward bravely on our spiritual paths.
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“Dear God, help me to follow my spiritual path. Help me to be true in all of my decisions and to follow my heart.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
Well … resolution #1 is letting the past fade away 🙂 ; and your post today reminded me that there are “resolutions”, and there is also… “resolve”. I had trouble with that during the divorce process where I had to reconcile my hurt, anger, and fear of soon being alone, with anticipation, the concern of making the right business and bottom line life decisions, while keeping up boundaries for my own emotional welfare. I’m still recovering and it will be an arduous process.
You will have steps forward and steps back…. don’t be hard on yourself when this happens… Just keep looking for your progress. I always kept a journal (and still do) to remind myself of my resolve! 🙂 D.
Happy New Year!
I was reading the posts of the past few days this morning also. I absolutely understand and feel the healing process we’ve talked about. The holidays were not as painful this year at all. Living in the present rather than the past, and having new purpose in life is helping.
My resolution is to continue keeping a journal — it helps so much.
HAPPY NEW YEAR PATRICIA! So nice to see your comment pop up today! I’m glad to know that this year was better for you. I caught myself in the last few months (after ALL this time) making some snarky comments about my ex in front of my son (he’s 24 now…. but still he doesn’t want to hear that) I was surprised though… after all this time… that something was triggering me… and I realized I was feeling a bit resentful… I am resolved to make a living amends by choosing not to do that anymore in 2015. I hope you are ready for the new year… it’s only going to get better for you as you heal and move forward. I’m always here for you! xo D.
Hi D
I’m ready and have the challenge to get the new business to the next notch as well as the gym workouts !
I have faced lots of comments and questions from friends and family lately about my ex- with some time having passed , I guess I don’t seen so “fragile” and they want to know how I am and what the heck happened and if I hear from him. We don’t have any ties that necessitate being in touch , so we aren’t.
I try hard to hold the line on my wisecracks because , as you’ve felt, frankly I am resentful , irked and a bit sarcastic at times.
I’ve made it a policy , with myself, to respond with vague info and stay upbeat.
I think we all feel better that way- it’s all past tense.
It will be interesting as time passes to hear what happens for his life /plans. I’ll hear things here and there and I’m working on nor getting triggered too much 🙂
GOOD FOR YOU! I’m excited for this new year… I can’t wait to see your progress and what it brings to you.
I was watching CBS morning news yesterday and Jennifer Aniston was asked about Brad Pitt and she said, “We’ve moved on…. we’ve all moved on…. We’ve wished each other well. We talk every once in awhile but we moved on.” Then she asked the interviewer, “How often do you talk to your ex-wife?” And he said, “Not often.” and she laughed and said, “Well, there you go!”
People are always interested just because they are curious creatures… soon they will move on to other topics. I like how you are limiting the conversation with minimal info and an upbeat attitude. You’re doing it! You’re moving on! 🙂 D.
I saw the Jennifer Aniston interview also!
i really can feel how one can move on – and it’s not going to be a “competition ” of who’s doing better or worse for the change .