July 10th: Choices and Slips

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I am not a perfect person.

Each day, I struggle with choices I make and sometimes even emotional slips that I fear I will regret.

It isn’t always easy to make a choice of opposite action when worked up during an argument or when I have surrendered to a struggle with my self-esteem.

When emotions run high… it feels good, for the moment, to unleash my hurt feelings… to let the tears flow… or say all of the angry words that I have been holding inside…. but as soon as I have finished “losing control” the shame and guilt that consumes me, from acting as my shadow self instead of taking the moral high ground, sets me into a worse spin… and often generates more poor choices followed by more emotional slips.

Feelings are not fact.

And when I allow myself to be controlled by them, I tend to make decisions that do not bode well for me, or the people I care about.

It is hard for me to forgive myself in these moments where I lack self-control but, it is imperative to my spiritual growth to do just that, and work towards making a better choice tomorrow.

“Dear God, help me to forgive myself when I make mistakes. Help me to learn from my choices, my actions.”

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