July 14th: Respite


When struggling with a difficult, seemingly impossible situation, sometimes I find it best to take some time away from the problem.

It was difficult to do so during my divorce because the pain was in my heart, the obsession was in my mind, and how would I be able to distance myself from that?

But I did so by finding moments of respite from my day-to-day life:

A walk in the park.

A weekend trip to the mountains.

A week long trip up the coast to visit my best friend.

Each time I allowed myself this time to briefly get away… it gave me a bit of physical and mental breathing room that I could not find while stifled in my own home with all the memories of my marriage: The memories that threatened to hold me hostage at anytime.

I learned that sometimes, a break, was all I needed. A break to make it through and garner the strength I would need to continue on through the pain of my divorce and move forward with my new life.

“Dear God, help me to create mental and physical space when I am feeling overwhelmed by my surroundings. Help me to find relief in the beauty of the natural world, respite in nature.”

9 thoughts on “July 14th: Respite

  1. Love this and you’re so right.
    I’m working on taking a weekend or even a day whenever possible to have some peaceful time, and even visit a friend I haven’t seen in ages. Some healing time 🙂

  2. It’s very difficult to carve that time when financial restrictions and pressures loom… or when all the places you love to walk (indeed, the town in which you live) carry reminders and memory triggers.

    It’s great advice. It’s just not always so easy to find that respite.

    • Find those new places, Matthew. I was married twenty years and all of the places in my home town seemed “haunted” with triggers and reminders. I stayed away from most for a long time… and went back to childhood places that I once loved and made new memories with my children and my new companions… now my world doesn’t seem so haunted anymore.

      Even a library can offer respite… free, calm, full of great minds with great ideas… pick a new one and enjoy it! 🙂 D.

      • I wanted you to know I went and faced down one of those triggers yesterday and went to a destination I love, and often enjoyed with my ex. It was not easy, not going, and not being there. But I found some peace and solace, too.

  3. I hear you , Matthew.
    The first six months were so devastating I can still feel it …
    I felt I was wandering everywhere , and was very financially conservative .
    I found parks , lakes near where friends lived, zoos , museums , free concerts — and just walked , sat , listened , and watched. A friend of mine called me about the same time everyday to just say hi and see how I was doing.
    I hope you will find new places to walk and see people soon . Help your friends understand … They can help and have ideas 🙂

  4. the problem was where ever I went there I was, at first in the beginning of the divorce { ending of a 20 year union}. After a lot of therapy and spiritual foot work { a little over a year later} I can find peace and serenity in my mind where ever I go, it does not have to be a physical location. I took my first all alone trip last year to a spiritual retreat and found the beauty in being with spiritually fit people and in the beauty of the new mexico mountains, and i am learning to be ok with just God and myself, i find myself at peace and now can wish that for my ex partner, what a blessing. And these readings have helped immensely, i am so grateful to have stumbled on this wisdom, God bless.

    • That sounds lovely… and Patricia is absolutely right… you expressed this so well… to be at peace and wish that for our ex-partner is a blessing! D.

  5. Wow, Robert.
    What you expressed here brings peace in reading it, and so glad you’re doing so well.
    I was in my relationship and marriage much of my life and I’m finally finding solace .

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