I was at work one day when I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion.
I missed my husband so much.
I still wanted him back and I was mourning the loss of my dream.
I was passing papers back to my students when one of them noticed that I was beginning to cry.
He asked me what was wrong and my tears started to fall.
I tried to stop, but the kindness of his asking, left me vulnerable.
I was worried that my students would be upset. Here, their role model, was breaking down inappropriately at work.
They all looked to me for an answer and so, I decided that I could use this as a “teaching” moment.
I reached for a tissue and began my story.
I told them I was very sad about my divorce and that sometimes, the emotions just came out whether I wanted them to or not.
I asked them if they had ever been so sad, that they had experienced an emotional outburst.
Most of my students had some type of experience that had carried emotion over into their everyday lives.
We talked a bit and they said they were sorry I was sad.
Emotional outbursts do not have to be embarrassing.
They do not have to be made into a “big deal.”
Emotions are natural during times of sadness, change, and stress.
By calmly walking through the experience, and being honest with others, I could come back to a place of serenity.
I had been fighting to hold everything in yet… by letting it out and letting it go… I was able to move on.
I was able to regain my footing.
“Dear God, help me to be easy on myself. During times of sorrow, help me to express my feelings, pray for release of my pain, and move on with hope into my future.”
I relate to this so much. You are right about how much healthier it is not to suppress those feelings. It takes courage to allow for vulnerability. What I’ve been going through with my separation and divorce has definitely been a grief process. Thank you for always inspiring me and getting right to “the heart” of everything.
You are getting there Judy and I love reading your posts! :))))) D.
Thanks dee dee. Your support means a lot to me. I’d love to hear one of your original songs someday! 🙂
I feel like we have walked such similar paths…. you can hear my original music on Pandora… or Itunes… or just go to ddwood.bandcamp.com… it’s free 🙂
I was still online this morning and saw your new post; you may have seen my comment on yesterday’s also… I seem to be in sync with your postings.
Letting go is so hard, and I’m not a highly emotional person by nature.
I am stunned at times, and in my case, I’m relieved our divorce is happening, yet I get such waves of sadness and longing… some times I’m confused about what I’m longing for.
I think it’s missing the feelings one has/had for someone, and the security of knowing they are there for you.
And now that all of that is gone, you must build up your courage, and you must step into each day and hope you can keep building a new life.
And, as you described, the feelings can just come in with no particular trigger at that moment.
I try not to over-involve my friends when these feelings come, but there are “outbursts”, sometimes at inconvenient moments (like in front of people as you mentioned regarding your students).. Friends and family do their best to comfort. I know they are there for me, but it’s still hard to not feel guilty to subject them to these episodes!
It is all a process… and it takes time to move through it… you will get there! 🙂 D.