November 18th: Intimacy

After my divorce, the idea of being close to another person, made me quite reluctant.

I was afraid to trust… afraid to care too much… afraid to let my heart go “that far” again and end up being hurt.

Therefore, I had to do the spiritual footwork necessary to open myself up to the possibility of giving and receiving love once again.

After awhile, when my pain had healed and my heart grew strong enough to chance the feelings that would come with this step, I walked bravely forward.

It wasn’t easy… but the more I allowed others in… the more I recovered from my painful past.

Today… I still struggle with intimacy. I still sometimes create walls to hide behind or push those I love away… believing that I can protect myself from being hurt.

But I know, that to live life on a surface level… has never worked for me and never will.

It is hard to feel safe when sharing yourself with another human being… to trust that they will accept you as you are… and that they will love you flaws and all, but life is meant to be experienced through powerful and intimate connections to other human beings and not meant to be lived in fear.

“Dear God, help me receive the gift of intimacy. Help me to see the joy and all of the benefits of truly sharing who I am with another loving human being.”

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