Just the other day I was with someone who means very much to me.
I was so excited to see my friend, it had been nearly two months since we had a chance to be together.
Yet, when I was there at their home… I immediately felt on my guard and began to act out of character.
I was reacting to the times we hadn’t been able to be together.
The times my friend had planned to see me but then something came up and I had felt abandoned.
I began to believe that my friend did not value my love and friendship…
That they were only seeing me that evening out of “convenience…”
I was acting out… being hurtful in my remarks… trying to get my friend to react in any way and show me some type of emotion in regards to our friendship.
My friend said, “Who are you to come over to my house and say such things?” Which of course, only made the situation worse.
I was “acting out” and my friend was “reacting.”
I felt horrible that evening… the way I behaved… and I told my friend exactly that… which immediately stopped our silliness.
We were then able to go on and have a lovely evening together: I felt close and soothed by my friend’s presence.
Looking back, I see now that I could have easily said, “Can I talk to you a minute? I’m feeling hurt and I need you to comfort me. It makes me sad and I feel that you don’t value me when our plans often fall through or I don’t hear from you for long periods of time.”
And my friend could have easily responded with, “I’m sorry. You must know how I feel about you. You’re my friend. I would never purposely hurt your feelings. I value you in my life. I was really looking forward to seeing you tonight.”
How things might have been different if we had both just put ego aside and let our mutual love and friendship rule the moment.
Sometimes we let our ego and our emotions drive our bad behavior.
If we can just step back when we begin to react, and ask for what we need, we do both ourselves and our friends a kind service.
We allow the relationship to move forward with lovingkindness instead of resentment and fear.
“Dear God, help me to love my friends even in my weakest moment. Help me to love my friends even in their weakest moment.”