After my divorce, I wasn’t sure if anyone would fall in love with me again.
I couldn’t imagine finding someone new.
I began negative self talk imagining the worst: that I would never find my perfect match.
I was so sure that a new person would not see the “true” me.
I was told by a friend to go out and live my best life, the life I had always wanted in my marriage… to go out and do all of the things I loved to do on my own.
And so… I did.
I walked the Nature Trail in the park.
I walked my dog around the neighborhood.
I worked on my writing, read books, traveled, visited with friends until one day…
Someone asked me out on a date.
I wasn’t looking for my “perfect match.”
I hadn’t been searching for a “new love.”
I had been going about my business, being true to myself, and then… someone on the same spiritual path, someone with the same likes as me, appeared.
Love is not elusive.
Love is right in front of us.
Love will come… when you follow your heart… and move forward with integrity and honesty.
“Dear God, help me to be true to myself, to walk bravely forward on my spiritual path and open my heart to the opportunity of love.”
Virtually everything you mentioned here crosses my mind, a lot. Friends and family encourage me to use the time to grow. Some days it’s hard to visualize a new life and a new relationship, being alone for the first time in over 25 years. I’m starting to find more things to pursue that I enjoy, including trying to find new work. I had practically forgotten what I enjoy, it has been so long since I’ve had the time and opportunity!
I know! And once you find it again… you won’t be willing to give it up! You have an opportunity now to really become the person you want to become… and once you do… you will attract others into your life on the same path! The man I was married to was VERY jealous of my talent… the man I am with today… embraces it. Your life becomes so much easier with a partner that “fits” your true self! 🙂
Here I am on this one two years later 🙂
I’ve really looked at this .
Always had men in my life non/stop since I was 15.
When I went through the divorce , it’s obviously not that way. I didn’t cheat or bank on other relationships during my marriage.
I’ve actually enjoyed , and still enjoy , not having the responsibility of a relationship . Have a business I’m building and other stuff on my mind . But I sometimes feel invisible.
Perhaps it will change with more time. There are moments where I’d like to share my life with someone , and feel like a third wheel when I go places / see couples . But I don’t really feel lonely … It’s just so different
Patricia, It was five years before I found the “significant other” that was right for me. There were times I felt lonely… and invisible… but most of the time I felt relieved just spending time working on myself, my relationships with friends, family, and specifically my children, working on home, my writing, just life. I like you had men around me from early in my teens. It was nice not having a relationship… but I did at times miss “intimacy” and “spark” 🙂 D.
Exactly ! So true …
I have such peace focusing on putting myself back together . And I’ve seen a few people but , as I’ve said — like Jack Nicholson in something’s gotta give ( kinda) ” I don’t know how to be a boyfriend “.
I’ve had to say ” I don’t think I’d be the best “girlfriend ” yet 🙂