I had many expectations during my marriage and I had many expectations during my separation and divorce.
During my marriage, I expected all of my positive actions to produce the outcome I desired: a loving and healthy marriage.
This, however, did not happen.
During my separation, I expected that all of my positive actions, particularly… marriage counseling… would lead to reconciliation.
This also… did not happen: we inevitably divorced.
I was so attached to my expectations that when things didn’t happen on my time schedule, or go in the way I imagined them to go… I would become fearful and frustrated: so afraid that my desired outcome would not manifest.
But what if my desired outcome was not in my best interest?
What if there was a bigger picture that I was unable to see while I was so bound up in fear?
Now I know that if I detach from my expectations, and move forward, with all of my heart, pure in intent, pursuing my desires, through positive actions, but letting go of the outcome, I release my fear of “results.”
I can hope for the outcome I desire… but I have to accept that it may not be the outcome my Higher Power wants for me.
A better outcome may be on my horizon if I let go and detach from expectations.
“Dear God, help me to let go of my expectations and attachment to outcomes. Help me to move forward and know that you are with me as I search for my true path.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
I had great expectations too during my divorce. Reconciliation was not likely, but understanding the why of it all was something I thought would come to pass, and that I’d gain some relief from my sadness.
Alas it did not and frankly since it was all past tense anyway, I really appreciate your words here because I am coming to the acceptance of what will happen now as I build new expectations that are realistic and new– and recognize them!
Trust me.. you have SO much to look forward to! 🙂
You just described me to a T! Still trying to work on detaching myself from expectations…Thank you for writing this. It’s just what I needed to hear this morning.
Reblogged this on blessings in disguise and commented:
Couldn’t have said it better…
“What if there was a bigger picture that I was unable to see while I was so bound up in fear?”
Your words hit the nail on the head !
For many months I was so wrapped up in why I didn’t do more in the marriage , that my fatigue , stress , and ultimately boredom with the whole thing was holding me back from seeing the reality – I needed to be out of our marriage . But I don’t like failure anymore than the next person!
But now understanding independence / independent thinking … I’ve ended up in the right place and time to move on.
This is particularly valuable today! It is a challenge to adjust expectations.Hugs,Karin
Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone
What you wrote is profound – I love this post. I am much happier when I let go of any expectations; they usually lead to disappointment. And like you said, sometimes we can’t see the bigger picture and it’s very shortsighted. I learn from my disappointments and that leads to better outcomes, too. Thank you, deedee!
I was just talking about this with my neighbor this morning…. amazing what can lead to better outcomes!
Expectations are resentments lying in wait, If I find myself irritable restless and discontent, it is certain that I am trying to control people places and things. God, help me keep the focus on myself and let go the need to control, thy will be done, not my will be done.
Absolutely!