October 7th: Letting Go of Pain

It was hard for me to let go of my husband when we first went through our divorce.

In the beginning, I so wanted to reconcile, that I would find just about any excuse to create contact with him.

And… because I wouldn’t “let go” I ended up putting myself through a lot of unnecessary pain.

A friend once said to me, “Don’t go looking for pain” and I learned, over time that they were right.

Each time I missed my husband, I’d call him on the phone and unfortunately soon learn that he was much farther along in the “moving on” process than I was…

He would be friendly, but busy with his own life: his new friends, his new activities, and not anxious to spend his time communicating with me.

I would be left hurt and feeling abandoned.

This is when I truly began to understand my friends’ phrase: Don’t go looking for pain.

I needed to let go of my soon-to-be-ex-husband and focus on my own life.

I needed to begin accepting the inevitable: that we would no longer be a couple and I could not find happiness through contact with my former spouse.

I needed to let go of the pain, and walk towards my new future where I would, over time, find happiness and joy.

“Dear God, help me to let go. Help me to see this trying situation as a blessing in disguise: A fresh start to a new and better life.”

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4 thoughts on “October 7th: Letting Go of Pain

  1. This hits at the core of what I’m dealing with right now.
    I don’t have contact with my soon to be ex, and don’t want to, but our lives are still so intertwined via friends & family members. It’s hard to not see or hear things (and I’ve asked them to not feel the need to tell me all they may know or hear).
    Sometimes, I just don’t understand why my mind seems to be so curious or interested.
    I’m so hurt by all of this and focusing as best I can to move on, but the thoughts do come to the surface intermittently.
    And I understand and accept that he already has moved on! ….He was building another relationship before we even moved from our home.
    Staying out of the path of pain takes such a conscious effort — I didn’t see that part coming!

    • It is completely normal to be interested or curious… but it is important to recognize that right now… it will just cause you pain to know things because you are still so emotionally raw and in the process of mourning…. hang in there and create any distance needed. I have a small group of friends that were there to support me and knew NOT to share information with me that would cause a “trigger.”

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