Every relationship serves a purpose.
Some relationships last for long periods of time while other relationships… seem to end before they even get started.
After my divorce, when enough time had passed, allowing me to look back in perspective, I began to exam all of the relationships in my life to see where they had led me.
My husband had been the catalyst towards my musical career.
My children had led me to want to be a good parent and a teacher.
My friends, my students, taught me to be present for others in the world, pass on knowledge, and have compassion:
Each relationship, serving a specific purpose, to lead me on my chosen life path.
Even my most difficult relationships brought me insight into how I wanted to be treated by others and how I wanted others to treat me and often…
by spending time in these difficult relationships… I was able to see how my “shadow self” would often become present:
How I might become obsessive or needy with someone who refused to openly offer support and love in a friendship.
How I could bully someone if I felt they had harmed one of my students or friends.
Observing a side of myself that I did not like, and that I hoped to improve, became obvious when I saw my actions repeated again and again within the confines of my relationships.
I learned that some relationships are “not to be” and are “not in my best interest.”
I learned that every one passes through my life for a reason and that they are a teacher… a teacher that brings a lesson that I must study to gain experience, strength, and hope… and share my growth and my knowledge in all of my future relationships.
It is up to me to find the “higher ground” when I am struggling with another’s self-will.
It is up to me to see the purpose in all of my personal relationships and embrace them.
“Dear God, help me to value all of my relationships. Help me to see the lessons I need to learn in each, and give me the strength to accept that people will come and go from my life, and I must find love and compassion as they walk with me or pass by me.”
I can see friendships/relationships changing rapidly over the past few months. Perspectives change, things in common increase or diminish, and some people will come in and out of your life for brief periods of time. My closest friends, who’ve always been there, are here; and I’m here for them. As I forge new friendships and relationships it will be interesting to see how I’m able to become comfortable to be myself, and understand what works and what doesn’t. It is uncharted water after being “closed in” for such a long time.
I remember really being attached to the idea of being “a wife.”
I had a hard time being single at first… but then… I began to focus on me… what I wanted out of life and as I became more sure of myself… I began to love not being married. 🙂