I have often heard “fake it until you make it” and while going through my divorce I had to do just that.
My self-esteem had taken such a great hit… that at times, I had to pretend that I was much stronger than I actually was just to get through it.
It wasn’t because I was trying to “trick” people into believing that I was okay or that I wasn’t really being affected by the event, it was because if I didn’t “fake it” I was worried that I would never recover from my loss and that the pain, and the despair, would eventually overcome me.
I knew I had to be strong for my children… to maintain in my day-to-day life… and give them some sense of normalcy… as we all walked through this painful change together.
Each time I stood up and smiled and acted “as if” instead of lying down and giving up, helped me to rebuild my fragile self-esteem and remind me that there was a strength inside of me, that may have been damaged by the pain that I had suffered, but had not been broken.
Each time I stood up and smiled and acted “as if” I felt as though step, by small step, I once again could face the world.
“Dear God, help me to find the strength to carry on even in my darkest moments. Help me to believe in your path and use my faith to build my character and find my way.”
One of my friends remarked recently that they didn’t say much the first few months I moved out in my own, but it was so clear I had 0 confidence and was hunkered down and depressed. They stayed “close by” but didn’t try to roust me initially .
Self esteem can die through a divorce
Mine was gone years before.
It’s funny – friend now voice / you wouldn’t go anywhere ! Do anything!
We were worried ,irritated …
Hope , new things in your life … Making yourself get out there
I had forgotten who I was
But like you said
I needed time
And also had to fake it a bit
But to mojo slowly returns 🙂