In my marriage, I often tolerated a great deal of unacceptable behavior.
I thought that by tolerating it, I was showing how willing I was to work on the relationship, how much I loved my husband, how I was always ready to “suffer” to prove my loyalty.
But what I was really proving was that I had no boundaries: That I would willingly take anything and still participate in a relationship that was not in my best interest.
Today I know, that I cannot sit idly by and allow someone to walk all over me.
That does not prove my unconditional love to that person… that only teaches another human being that they can basically act without any responsibility or consequence for their choices in our relationship.
No matter how I may love and want another human being in my life, if I catch myself allowing all behaviors, even those that are unacceptable to me, or finding myself feeling victimized each time I try to give my all, then it is time for me to look at my own unacceptable behavior: my behavior of people-pleasing at the detriment to my health, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
“Dear God, help me to keep fair boundaries in all of my relationships. Help me to love myself enough to make changes in my own behavior and the strength to be responsible in all of my choices.”