When going through my divorce I found comfort in accomplishments.
First it was something small such as just being able to get through the day without crying.
Then, it moved to getting through a week.
Soon I was working towards putting my house in order, studying for my degree in higher education and then…
I was able to move into my creative endeavors and soon I was writing books and making music.
Accomplishments are milestones… a nod to the progress that we have made along the way on our spiritual path.
It is important to embrace each one, small or large and know that with each new accomplishment grief is diminishing and joy is returning.
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“Dear God, thank you for helping me to see my progress. If I strive to move forward one small step at a time, I can overcome any obstacle.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
This is so important D! I fall back sometimes and then realize every step, big or small can be exciting- and to focus daily… It’s part of letting go of the past too.
I remember the first morning that I didn’t open my eyes and cry…. that was a step…. the first day I made it through work without needing “a break” it started with that… and moved to larger and larger accomplishments…. each day…a bit stronger! Happy New Year Patricia. On to 2014 and a whole new way of life! 🙂
I REALLY needed to read this. It’s been 22 months since my divorce was final, 20 months since I moved out & found myself and our 3 children a house to rent (although 30% higher than I prequalified for in mort payment, but couldn’t do due to ex’s credit & inability to carry old mort without my credit), 14 months since I was able to secure a non-clunker of a car, had the marital car repo’d and oldest son joined the US Army and was deployed to Afghanistan, 11 months since my cancer diagnosis, 10 months since my bankruptcy discharge, 9 months since my survivor surgery and rehab (still rehab’g everyday ;o}, 8 months since celebrating the big 30-NOT!, 6 months since going to court TWICE, but finally having ex incarcerated for contempt of child support–amazing how $$ appears simultaneously when prison bars come into view!, 4 months since sale of marital home at foreclosure auction, 3 months since being downsized on my job, 2 months since I enrolled in college for my Bachelors and (happy dance) am,–eh hem–maintaining a 4.0 GPA thus far!
But just yesterday, (of course before I read this–guess there’s a reason it’s called DAILY Divorce Meditations) I was sitting in the parking lot of the courthouse trying to quell my frustration at trying to figure out why I couldn’t find a ‘George Bailey’ to help me secure a mortgage. I mean, I’ve been ontime (on a TEACHER’S salary) with all utilities, my other car, still maintaining our household and all I seem to keep hearing is ‘your best STILL isn’t good enough.’ We’re going to continue to reward the fiscally irresponsible, but snub our noses at those who actually live within their means.’ But it took this meditation to ground me. I am being prepared for a better situation. We’ve accomplished A LOT and the journey of a million miles begins with A STEP! Thank you!
K… first let me say….. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this and…. I hope your son is safe and well…. and please thank him for protecting all of us here at home… and… congratulations on your work towards your degree… 4.0 GPA with EVERYTHING YOU ARE GOING THROUGH? Hat off! That is fantastic. Please know… that though I have not walked exactly in your shoes… I can promise you that what I went through was very similar…. You are moving forward… and I know you have a lot to carry… but I also know you will get through it…. When my marriage ended… I went back for my Master’s… then my National Board (as a teacher you know what this is) so that I could afford to take care of my two children… buy the home that we lived in… and move on with my life. After twenty years of marriage… the journey seemed overwhelming… but step-by-small-step… I made it through. I wish you well… I’m so glad to hear you are recovering from your survivor surgery… Please know… that no matter where you are on your road today… I’m here. D.
Hey D D,
I am in a strong marriage now, but your logic applies to all of us. Working on commitments is easier if we as individuals have a strong base, meaning strong sense of who we are. Our marriage and dedication has become stronger with exploring our passions. Any relationship can become a hardship if you loose your sense of self. You are amazing and your journey shared helps more than you will ever realize. Thank you, Kathleen
Thank you, Kathleen. Everything I learned through my divorce about life and about myself is now really helping me through my new (12 year) relationship with Stephen. I feel very fortunate that I had mentors that helped me along the way… and now I just want to share my experience, strength and hope for anyone who may find reflection or comfort in my thoughts. Love you, D.