Sometimes I find myself so overwhelmed with day-to-day life that my mind becomes engulfed by fear.
Fear of things I have no control over.
It always seems funny to me… how struggling with commitments can turn into struggling with fear.
But… it always makes sense when I break it down to one simple fact: loss of control.
Whenever I am feeling out of control in day-to-day life, that is when fear sets in.
It is at this time that I know I must quiet my mind and focus on small tasks to return to a calm sense of balance:
Folding one pile of clothes.
Mailing off a bill.
Making the bed.
Sweeping the porch.
Each chore may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things but order in my daily life releases my mind from chaos, clutter, and fear and allows me to focus on what truly matters:
Progressing on my spiritual path instead of wasting my precious time lost in a state of panic.
_
“Dear God, help me to let go of fear and calm my mind. Help me to complete each small task so that I am able to move forward towards bigger accomplishments.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
Recently I started keeping a journal where I write down the simple tasks I perform. It has helped me focus and not be so hard on myself and realize how much I do accomplish even when there is so much that I have no control over. And I think of back in college when I was stressed, there was something soothing about folding laundry. Simple tasks, yes.
Isn’t it amazing how a simple task such as folding laundry can become so soothing? There is an immediate sense of control that really helps when fear and anxiety creep in… 🙂
I do believe fear is one of the greatest inhibitors in life. I have written a lot about it. Having courage allowed me to completely transform my life. The unknown can be scary and filled with panic. But the unknown also holds possibilities – beautiful things that can only happen by letting go of fear. Sometimes it is the small steps that take us in that direction. I like what you’ve suggested.
It’s funny Judy… how all of the sudden I am completely fear based and when I take a good look… I see that my day-to-day life has fallen into chaos. Whenever I take the time to complete my simple tasks and put my daily life back in order… my fear dissipates. 🙂
For me, fear was all about pleasing other people and worrying about their needs. My biggest fear in leaving my marriage was about hurting my husband and children. It is truly so much better when we take care of our own needs. It is just impossible to solve everything when we take on more than ourselves! I think worry (which is fear based) is the greatest lifeblood sucker there is, too!
The fear is so overpowering at times. I am a HUGE big picture kind of person and I can’t do that anymore…it’s too big and scary. I have been looking at days now, and when that doesn’t work I shorten that to hours, minutes, or seconds. I like your idea about tasks too. This is such a great reminder of things that I do have control of. Thank you!
Oh I’m so glad Meg. Tasks really help me to stay in the moment so that I don’t become overwhelmed with the big picture! 🙂
I agree on how fear and worry are so intertwined. One focuses on things that can’t be controlled or predicted, and allowing the mind to be far too creative in “determining” the future! I am gaining clarity bit by bit that the present moment can settle thoughts back into perspective.
I just watched “Saving Mr. Banks” a good reminder on how the past can control us and how we have to stay in the present moment and let go… watch it if you haven’t! 🙂 D.
I haven’t seen it yet – and I will check it out!
I was reading through the posts of the past couple of years.
I had great fear – and I’m surprised in some ways because I’ve taken sizable risks.
When I stopped truly respecting myself , and lived /caterered to my spouse , eventually I went into the abyss of worry , enabling , projecting into the future –
As Judy said – fear and worry are intertwined – I got lost for awhile .
I think I’m back on the road now –
🙂
Patricia that makes me so happy to hear it. I feel very connected to you and to Judy and I love hearing about both of you and your journeys… I have found that my enabling and people pleasing have diminished the less I am around addictive personalities. And I notice how quickly it comes back when I’m around addictive personalities! 🙂 I still have to work really hard not to fall back into old patterns with certain people or in certain situations. I still struggle with fear but not on the level I did while in my marriage. The security of the kind people I am around now… and my own spiritual growth… have minimized it quite a bit! 🙂 D.
Thanks – me too 🙂
And yesterday – I had lunch with my two brothers in law and sister in law ( I guess “ex)
I had the chatter going big time before I walked in
What I met was love , caring , and how long it had been since we’d seen each other …
It’s very clear we don’t see each other as much as our lives shift gears , but moving through that fear of seeing then again vanished – I almost cried when I got back in my car and left .
I’d never felt I really lost those closest to me for all those years
Here’s to remembering when you go through divorce , family and friends do too – and they have nervousness as you do.
I’m much healthier mentally and physically now – and I could literally see the relief and joy in their expressions when I walked in.
And yes – I too must stay clear and / or be vigilant re addictive personalities –
And in the future I need to catch myself not trying to “fix” things !
🙂