Lately I have been struggling with expectations and basically, setting myself up for disappointment.
I don’t like the person that I become when I suddenly catch myself acting as if I am entitled to someone’s time or being judgmental towards their actions.
I wouldn’t want to be around someone who made me feel that I “owed them” my time or my friendship or that I had to have a relationship with them based on “their” rules.
However… I do want to be able to count on a friend and to ask for what I want in our relationship if my request is a reasonable one.
What do I believe are reasonable expectations in a relationship?
Setting a specific time to be together… and calling or contacting in a timely manner if our plan needs to be changed…
Creating a bond of trust within our friendship… a loyalty that binds us…
Speaking to each other with respect and kindness.
These, to me, are all reasonable expectations in a relationship I choose to pursue and if I have met someone who is unwilling to work with me towards this common goal, then maybe our relationship is not meant to be.
But… I must remember… expectations should not be used as a way to control others: If I use my expectations to control, it will only push the people I love away and set the relationship up to be full of resentments.
Today, I must be clear in my needs but reasonable in my requests.
“Dear God, help me to have clear and fair expectations with those I love. Help me to accept people as they are and accept the differences between us.”
I agree in total! I’ve set myself up for disappointment sometimes because what I may believe we may both “expect” is what I actually “hope” or “assume” is the case. I’m learning to be more patient, and I also have to work on being more clear in communicating.