Lately I have been struggling with expectations and basically, setting myself up for disappointment.

I don’t like the person that I become when I suddenly catch myself acting as if I am entitled to someone’s time or being judgmental towards their actions.

I wouldn’t want to be around someone who made me feel that I “owed them” my time or my friendship or that I had to have a relationship with them based on “their” rules.

However… I do want to be able to count on a friend and to ask for what I want in our relationship if my request is a reasonable one.

What do I believe are reasonable expectations in a relationship?

Setting a specific time to be together… and calling or contacting in a timely manner if our plan needs to be changed…

Creating a bond of trust within our friendship… a loyalty that binds us…

Speaking to each other with respect and kindness.

These, to me, are all reasonable expectations in a relationship I choose to pursue and if I have met someone who is unwilling to work with me towards this common goal, then maybe our relationship is not meant to be.

But… I must remember… expectations should not be used as a way to control others: If I use my expectations to control, it will only push the people I love away and set the relationship up to be full of resentments.

Today, I must be clear in my needs but reasonable in my requests.

“Dear God, help me to have clear and fair expectations with those I love. Help me to accept people as they are and accept the differences between us.”