There are only so many times that I can ask for what I want before I must stop asking.
My divorce taught me that no matter how I may love someone… no matter how I may want to be with that person… if I keep asking for what I need and their answers or their actions continually express the word, “No…” I must come to terms with the relationship and decide if I can carry on with it.
How much am I willing to take?
How much am I willing to give?
Have I set up a relationship where I am constantly the nurturer? The giver? Allowing someone else to take from me at all costs?
If I am left wanting… spent… worn from sharing so much of myself… then where do I go from there?
I know now that I have to love myself enough to let go of what is no longer working for me and find a relationship where my love is valued and cherished, sought after by the person I choose to share my life with today, and that together, we will build a mutual loving relationship based on honesty and respect.
“Dear God, help me to let go of old behaviors. Help me to move forward in faith and know that my future holds a better life for me.”
Wow. I could have highlighted this entire post. Thank you for verbalizing what is going on inside of my head. I am at the crossroads of confusion and worn out.
Yes it always amazes me after so many years of spiritual footwork how I some times catch myself back in this place where I am nurturing everyone but myself! 🙂 D
Boy old habits die hard, if they can be killed at all. I guess there’s value in knowing that for the sake of being prepared for the long haul.
I find that it comes in waves…. usually something leads me to a relationship similar to my past… The difference now? I catch the pattern very quickly and I work towards changing it almost immediately. It is a long haul for sure…. but you will see the progress! 🙂 D.
Good point about the feelings coming in waves. It seems obvious when processed intellectually but, from the emotional perspective, I can imagine it could catch someone quite by surprise. In either case, it’s good to sort of prepare – if that’s even possible.
Yes you are so right! 🙂
It took many conversations with close family and friends to make me realize that , even years ago, I was overdoing the care taking , and was truly living with a “taker”.
It wasn’t always that way, it was true love in the beginning, but that vanished in the later years .
I have to be so careful going forward to recognize what’s best for me and someone I care about.
Part of me saw what was coming , but part of me just didn’t want to give up.
Patricia, read that David Richo book that I have posted under Good Resources on my site… I think you will REALLY like it… I got a lot out of that book. 🙂 D.
Hi DD –
I’m working on my next step … My roommate of three years moved last week and I’m going to fly solo here now . And it’s been 40 years since I’ve had a place ( or seems like a moment ☺️) to myself.
I haven’t felt such peace in so long.
It’s interesting that the care taking aspect started to develop here as well but I improved a bit 🙂
Hope all is well with you
Fantastic! Boy are you going to LOVE having that place on your own. All is well here… I love hearing that you are full of peace and on the other side of the past! 😀