Waking up in the morning while I was going through my divorce was very difficult for me.
I would have a moment of quiet peace before the reality of my life once again hit me.
My husband had left me.
He wanted a divorce.
There was nothing I could do to change that fact.
It was what I believed to be the worst moment of my day.
It was like waking from a gentle sleep to a true nightmare.
I would lie in bed for several moments after my realization and long for what was no longer mine.
Listening in anticipation that his footsteps might once again come down the hall.
Waiting for a phone call to come where he would take back his decision and we would once again unite.
Longing was tearing me apart.
Longing was keeping me living in the fantasy.
These things were no longer a part of my life.
I would have to mourn the loss and move on.
I would have to find something else to long for, something in my present, or something in my future.
But, longing for something in my past would do me no good.
It would not bring what I once had back.
If I allowed myself to continually dwell on what was no longer mine, I was then only causing myself more pain.
From then on, I allowed myself a moment each morning to accept the reality.
My husband was gone and I was getting a divorce.
Then, a moment to mourn and long for the life that I once had.
And then… a moment to look forward to the new life that lay before me.
“Dear God, help me to let go of my longing for what I had in the past. Longing for something will not bring it back. Longing for someone lost will only cause pain. Help me to look towards my future and the happiness it will bring.”