I had hoped that this wouldn’t happen in my life.
I had hoped that my husband and I would not divorce.
I had hoped that my children would not have to go through this painful experience.
I had hoped that something would change.
I did the footwork to prevent the divorce from happening.
I went to counseling, I worked on myself, I tried to meet my husband’s needs, I gave it my best.
I was willing.
I hoped that it would work… but it didn’t.
At first, I felt that I had failed.
That my hope had been pointless.
What good was hope if it didn’t bring the desired outcome?
I found myself filling up with despair.
Letting go of all hope for my future.
I only found hope in fantasy.
I hoped that we would someday get back together.
I hoped that he would call and change his mind.
I hoped that he would come home, come back to me, and be the man I needed him to be.
This was not true hope.
This was despair.
This was “false-hope.”
A make believe hope that I was using so that I did not have to let go.
So that I did not have to look at the reality of the situation.
So that I could live in my fantasy.
The fantasy of making my marriage work.
I had spent over half of my marriage hoping that we would not divorce.
I had spent over half of my marriage hoping that I could make it work.
I hadn’t been able to see that I had been living in false hope for a long, long time.
I had been living in fantasy for over half of my marriage.
I was so caught up in my idea of hope that I hadn’t even seen the signs.
My marriage had not been working for a very long time.
It was time for me to give up my false hope and have true hope.
I know hope that my husband will someday find peace and happiness in his life.
I hope that he finds everything that he could not find within our marriage.
I hope that I will find peace and happiness and everything that I could not find within our marriage.
Hope is believing, trusting that something good will come my way.
Hope is relying on my Higher Power to bring me the happiness.
Hope is trying your hardest, doing your best, and accepting the outcome of the situation.
You know that you hoped for the best.
Why would you hope for the worst?
Accept what has happened and find hope again.
Hope is trust in your Higher Power to bring you what you need in life.
To bring you to true peace and happiness, not the fantasy that was created by having false hope over something that was not to be.
“Dear God, fill me with true hope. Let me trust that things are exactly as you want them to be. Lead me out of despair and into reliance that you will provide for me what I need.”