Even though things hadn’t been great for me and my husband for quite awhile, I still missed having him around.
I didn’t have him to help the kids with their homework while I cooked.
Or pick my son up from music lessons while I folded the clothes.
I missed being able to call out to my husband for help and unfortunately, during our separation and divorce, we didn’t have the type of relationship where I could ask for his help.
I had heard of people being a better team after a break-up, but that wasn’t what was happening with us. We couldn’t even communicate at a civil level.
I felt so overwhelmed.
I felt so trapped.
I was left taking on the day-to-day responsibilities of our family and the strain was catching up to me. I didn’t know what to do. I had to let go of something or I knew I would end up in ill health.
I had to learn to reschedule and re-prioritize what was truly important.
For now, I might have to do a fast food dinner instead of cooking. If ordering out freed up my time so that I could get a task done that was weighing heavy on me, then it was worth it.
For now, I might have to let the house be messy so that I could help my son with his homework. What was a messy house compared to helping my child?
Once I started to prioritize, figuring out what I really wanted and needed to spend time on and what I could let go of for today, I started to feel better.
Maybe there would come a day when I could ask my husband for more help.
But for now, I could look at what needed to be done and decide what was truly important to accomplish. I could look at what could be left, and what needed to be tended to, and if I could separate the two, I would find peace in my decisions.
“Dear God, help me to see what is truly important. When I am feeling that there is too much to do and too little time, guide me to see what really needs to be done and what can be left until later.”