I had been placed in many difficult situations in my life but for some reason, my divorce hit me the hardest.
I was devastated by the loss and had many setbacks on my road to recovery.
I would cry uncontrollably or call my husband hoping I could convince him to come back…
I would blame myself for the end of our marriage and beg God to please change things…
I felt like I was walking on a path and every time I made a few strong steps, someone would come up behind me and knock me down to the ground.
If I tried to get back up, it felt like I was being knocked down again.
In the past, over the course of my entire life, I had always believed that no matter how many times you were knocked down, you got up and you tried again.
This time… my belief in this idea could not carry me: I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the path.
I was tired.
I was hurt.
I felt lost without my husband.
I didn’t want to get back up and try again.
A good friend had to remind me that this was a natural feeling.
That I would take a few steps forward and then feel “life” knock me back down to the ground
She related it to her own experience with divorce and promised me it would get better if I just kept moving forward and accepted that sometimes I would have setbacks.
She urged me to hold on a little while longer… she told me that she could see my progress even if I could not.
Life is full of setbacks.
Some… are more difficult than others.
I realized that this setback was a terrible one for me because my marriage had been difficult and I had fought against divorce for so long.
I had hoped it wouldn’t happen but after so many years, my worst fear came true.
I was getting a divorce.
The loss of love is a great one.
It cannot be minimized.
Walking through this loss is extremely painful but you must continue on the path, stand up, brush yourself off, and start walking again.
“Dear God, help me to accept my setbacks as a natural part of my recovery. Help me to find strength in the moment, and continue to follow the bigger path that you have planned for me.”