I heard once at an Al-Anon meeting that you should get up each day and immediately make your bed.

I didn’t like this idea.

My bed was my solace; the place I would fall back to throughout the day.

If it was too much for me to do a task, I would find myself retreating to the comfort of my bed, the softness of my blankets and pillows.

I didn’t want to make this a daily ritual.

But what I found out about this idea is that for me, it really had nothing to do with the bed or making it.

It had everything to do with structure and routine.

Often, during times of great stress or pain, we are so overwrought in our lives that we stop doing just about everything:

Making the bed.

Washing and folding the clothes.

Paying the bills or organizing our paperwork.

We find ourselves unable to think, overwhelmed by the surrounding mess, struggling with our daily despair.

So I made a habit of following a “To-do” list during my divorce.

Each time I accomplished the smallest goal; making the bed, sweeping the porch, watering the plants, I would cross the task off from my list and feel a small sense of accomplishment.

It was enough to get me through the day.

When we are struggling in our day-to-day moments…

When we are working to make it through one minute of time, one hour of time, one day of time…

Structure helps us to calm our minds, follow a simple routine, accomplish a task, as we work towards recovering from our grief and loss.

Structure and routine provide stability during a trying time.

“Dear God, help me through the day. Help my mind to stay focused in the moment.”