When my husband decided to leave our marriage, it was difficult not to feel rejected.
For many years, I had depended on my husband for my validation.
At first, I thought… if he’s leaving… there must be something seriously wrong with me.
I knew, logically, that this thought pattern was ridiculous… but emotionally… it hit the center of my wounded core and I couldn’t shake my feelings of low self-worth.
I began to spiral:
What could he want that I hadn’t already tried to give him?
Would someone else be able to finally fulfill his needs?
How could he abandon me after twenty years of marriage?
Was our time together worth nothing to him?
I began to believe that if I had just acted differently, demanded less, tried harder I could have somehow changed his mind with my love and my effort but that’s not the way life works.
It took time for me to see that I needed to provide my own validation and stop seeking it from others.
If I was unable to see myself as lovable and worthy of a healthy relationship, it wouldn’t matter how much outside validation I received from anyone: It would never be enough to fill me up.
“Dear God, help me to find validation within. Help me to see that I am lovable just as I am.”