During my divorce, people were often close by me.
Worried that I shouldn’t be alone, they wanted to fill my everyday with:
“check up” phone conversations…
or talk at the local coffee shop…
or dinner where we would discuss all the details of how the divorce was proceeding.
I appreciated all of the love and attention that my friends and family gave me.
I appreciated their show of support.
I knew I needed this wonderful group of people to get me through to the other side of my pain but… sometimes I just needed solitude… solitude to wrap my mind around the reality of the situation and “settle in” to the job at hand: getting over the loss of my husband.
Solitude allowed my mind to slow down… to mull over my trying situation… and to quietly look at it.
It wasn’t always easy to look directly at my pain… to face my darkest fears… but it was necessary so that I could move on with my past issues resolved.
“Dear God, help me find peace in solitude. Help me to allow my mind to calmly search for answers in the quiet.”
Reading your post helped me feel better, and more at peace.
Friends and family do want to help and to know, but I too really need that quiet space at times. Have started morning meditation and hope to find more clarity and being in the present.
I used to walk the Nature Center by my house every morning and it really centered me. It’s good that you are taking time just for you to stay calm, focused, and clear in the present. 🙂 D.
I am finding the desire for solitude almost overwhelming at the moment. My spouse is in rehab and my mother-in-law is staying with me to “help” and for family visitation day this weekend. But when I get home from work, I am dying for my own company. She only wants to talk about rehab, and what will happen next, etc. While I am grateful for her support and for the support of all my friends and family, I don’t want alcoholism to become to sole topic of conversation. I am trying hard not to let my spouse’s alcoholism effect every corner of my life, but my friends and family are making that hard.
Oh Sara I so understand.
For twenty years my husband’s addiction was the main focus of conversation. I hope you can make some space for yourself… turn off your phone… get out for a walk… a movie… a trip to the library where no one can find you and it is silent!!! You need a break from everyone and from your spouse’s alcoholism. I’m here for you… D.