Yesterday… I yelled at someone.
Had this person done something wrong?
Was it worthy of my anger?
Was it necessary for me to lose my temper, and act out in a heated moment and publicly shame this person?
Sometimes, we act rashly… we react with emotion… or we wait until the “straw that breaks the camel’s back” comes along and then unleash our fury.
It was a horrible moment for me.
It was a reminder of how I often lost my temper in my marriage with my husband.
I spent the rest of that hour, hands shaking, trying to calm down and acting “as if” everything was okay… while everyone else in the room worked to keep the peace between us.
Sometimes… we try to justify our bad behavior:
Well, if she had been behaving appropriately, I wouldn’t have had to yell at her or…
If he had only done what I asked him to do, I wouldn’t have had to call him out.
But… when you use your anger as a weapon… an amends is in order.
I waited until we were both calm, and then, in front of everyone, I apologized for losing my temper as my friend apologized to me.
Our amends to each other was necessary and immediate, the bond it created changed our relationship forever in that moment.
My friend stood before me, hugged me, sure in the knowledge that I would never use my anger against her unfairly again…. and I hugged my friend, humbled by the experience.
“Dear God, if I have harmed someone with my bitter words, grant me the gift of humility. Help me put my ego aside and ask forgiveness for my poor behavior… let your grace fill my voice with words of apology.”