November 10th: Self-Preservation

There have been times in my life when I knew absolutely… that I must walk away from a relationship.

Walking away didn’t mean that I loved this person any less; it meant that I could no longer bear the pain of the relationship’s dynamics.

While going through my divorce, there came a time where I had to completely let go of my ex-husband and walk away from all contact so that I could mend.

Each time I would have contact with him… I would be so deeply hurt…that I suffered again and again.

It was as if I purposely kept opening an old wound.

Recently, someone who means very much to me… acted very similar to my ex-husband. He said that he, “Didn’t want to hurt anyone” with his actions, but then this person continued to come close to me, then pull away, making plans and then breaking promises… until this back-and-forth behavior had worn me out, wounded me, and left me full of sadness. His choice to come in-and-out of my life with what seemed like such “ease of thought” felt, to me, like he had little regard for my feelings.

His actions, in my opinion, did not stand for “I don’t want to hurt anyone…” he didn’t seem to realize that he was hurting someone each time he did this… a person he claimed to love very much: me.

I knew, that no matter how much I would miss him; I had to step back completely from the relationship. The dynamics were not working for me and I would have to decided over time and distance, if they ever would.

Sometimes in life we have to take a step back and do what is important for ourselves. It is not a selfish act to need time and space to get clear about a relationship. I know today that if I step back with love and honesty… so that I preserve my emotional, spiritual, and physical health… and protect my friend’s feelings while gaining clarity… then I am doing a kind service to both of us.

“Dear God, help me to let go and walk away with love and honesty.  Help me to find clarity and to have the strength to stay away, with kindness, until I know what I can offer this person as my friend or partner.”

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2 thoughts on “November 10th: Self-Preservation

  1. To W563 This was a wonderful post! I thank you for being here for everyone! Thank you for your honesty and being transparent! You are a wonderful person and absolutely beautiful! Every day your messages are a blessing to me. Because my name is in my email I hesitate to respond. Today I just had to let you know how much this one blessed me. Sincerely, Kelly

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    • Thank you, Kelly. I know how hard it can be… I’ve been there and I can promise you it will get better as you continue to take care of yourself and move forward into your new life. BIG hug to you! D.

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