December 7th: Slips

December 7th

Sometimes, even when I know it is not in my best interest, I slip and let someone back into my life who I really should be keeping my distance from.

Usually, it is when I’m feeling melancholy or nostalgic, especially around a special event or the holiday season.

When I’m caught up in the moment, it seems that I am being foolish, silly actually, and that I should just let this person know that I miss them.

But the problem is… my feelings change from minute-to-minute… especially, when I am recovering from a loss or a break-up.

One minute… I do truly miss that person terribly… but the next minute… I’m afraid that if I open the door even a crack, they will come back into my world, hurt me, leave me suffering, once again in pain and despair, and then I will have to start the process of healing my broken heart all over again.

I know that it is hard to keep my physical and emotional distance when I so long for the attention of someone I once loved or still love, but I must make a concentrated effort to stay the course,  and allow time to heal my wounds.

I must not be hard on myself when I slip… I am not perfect… I will falter now and again but, it is in my best interest to stay away until I can make a sound decision regarding contact.

“Dear God, help me to move forward on my path and allow time and distance to heal my heart.”

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