Every once in awhile, no matter how I try to stay on my spiritual path, keep to my moral high road, or work to follow my Higher Power’s direction, I still find myself wallowing in self-pity.

This self-pity almost always has something to do with losing a person that I loved.

It has always been hard for me to recover from a loss, especially when the loss is related to someone who chose to walk away from what I was offering: myself.

And when I fall into self-pity, I am left feeling wounded, abandoned, and disheartened.

When I am in this place of despair, I have learned to ask myself several questions which help to pull me out of my pain and back into a place of loving-kindness.

The questions are simple, but straight to the point:

1. Do I regret the time I spent with this person?

2. Do I regret the love I gave them?

3. Do I regret the memories of our time together? The things we created together?

4. If I had a chance to “do it over again” would I take it back? Choose to never have this person in my life?

My answer to each question is always the same… No.

Even though I suffer the pain of the loss now, maybe even regrets related to things I feel I could have done differently in the relationship, I know that the pain I feel is one of mourning and that mourning is how I pay homage to important people or events in my life.

The intensity of my emotion, of my attachment, reminds me that what I gave was valuable, that I was true to my heart, and no matter the outcome, I am thankful for my generous spirit and my bravery in being willing to share myself with another human being.

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“Dear God, thank you for bringing people into my life who have taught me how to love, and how to bear loss. Thank you for showing me that love is a gift that should be cherished.”