Every so often I am reminded of my former marriage and life by friends through social networks that contain posts, texts, conversations, stories, or photographs.
Usually, I can look at the world I am no longer a part of… an accept it for what it is… and know that I made the right choice by moving on and creating a new life.
But sometimes, I find myself becoming overwhelmed with emotion and my heart feels like it is being “left out.”
I feel like I am now no longer… part of the group.
In the past when I felt these feelings, I would be unable to shake it, to progress past that moment in my day, and flustered and unsettled, I would end up letting my emotions ruin my serenity.
Today, after years of spiritual footwork, I am able to take a moment, allow myself to feel these feelings, and then make a running inventory of all the positive reasons I choose to no longer be part of that lifestyle… that world.
Feelings are just that… feelings.
They are not facts.
The fact is that I no longer want to live a lifestyle that does not fit my spiritual path.
I may have moments of regret, or emotion, but they will be fleeting and minor if I focus on the choices I made for my greater good.
“Dear God, help me to put ego aside and move forward and away from a past that no longer aligns with my spiritual foundation.”
DD – this is an area we have talked about before and this post captures it all. It took me awhile (and it is still a daily exercise) to allow myself to stay away from the pain!
And six months out from not being with my ex, I still get butterflies in my stomach to open FB, but I avoid certain things and have started to move forward.
There will always be feelings… and I have to accept that.
To not be in touch would put a barrier between me and the family and friends I still want to have in my life.
But, it is different and you said it so well — it often feels like I’m “on the outside, looking in”, even though they don’t feel that way.
There is so much emotion tied into all of this.
It’s funny… I don’t feel this way anymore in relation to my ex… but there are times when I still feel this way regarding the world of our friends….. I don’t want that life back… I don’t want to “hang” with that crew… but something in my ego still says… “Yeah… but I still want to be invited.” 🙂
I hear you on that. Just today I had to do some things on FB, and got a few emails…. and got that “old feeling”. I still feel a part of things in some ways or we’d all like it to be that way… but much of it will fade. Some people will always be in my heart and part of my life.
The last two weeks have been like that for me… a bit up and down with emotions…. it does lessen over time… I can promise you that! 🙂