In the past, I often wanted to talk things through until I felt there was a resolution.
But the truth is… often things cannot be resolved within one conversation or within a given time frame.
I always thought that silence was a sign that someone didn’t care enough about me to “battle” it through.
I felt that silence was a sign that my feelings and thoughts were not worth talking about.
It seemed a punishment, a way to stonewall.
Today I know that silence is often the best choice when a situation is heated, or dismaying, and that time, and space often does bring a calmer conversation.
I have learned that when I hold my tongue, and wait, that often problems that seemed so looming and large are answered by just being quiet and letting things be.
If I catch myself trying to explain, trying to reason, trying to make a point, and yet not being understood… maybe it is time to take a step back, be silent, and allow the conversation to cool before approaching the topic again.
“Dear God, help me to remain calm. Help me to use silence to soothe a troubled moment instead of using words to fan the fire.”
Sometimes it’s hard to withhold comment; I’m learning to be a better listener, and trying to not also press “to have the last word”.
Not easy when I feel I’m not being heard / understood!
What I had to realize in my situation is no matter HOW many last words I may have… it still didn’t necessarily mean I was heard or understood. Today, I have noted that the people I surround myself with do listen… and do work towards a mutually satisfying goal in our relationships … I still slip at times in the heat of the moment… but have learned that if I can wait… calm down… it always seems to work better for me. 🙂