I was talking to my friend this afternoon about a conversation that had upset me.
One of our mutual friends had done something that I felt was unacceptable: something unacceptable related to me.
My friend was acting as an impromptu mediator, trying to logically help me to understand a situation that had become emotionally charged.
She spent several minutes reasoning with me, calmly helping me to look at the situation from a different point-of-view, and hoping that it would stop me from reacting.
Later that afternoon, when I met my friend, the mediator, for coffee, I looked at her and said, “You are absolutely right. I totally understand both sides of the situation now and I’m choosing to wind it down…. let it go… not react.
I realized that my friend who I believed behaved unacceptably to me, was reacting out of hurt and anger, and that if I chose to escalate the situation, I too would only be acting from my shadow self instead of choosing to react with love and faith and from a higher spiritual place.
Sometimes it is hard to back down, back away, and look at emotional situations with logic and detachment but… it is important to see all sides of a problem, look at my part in it, and then choose whether it must be discussed or if it is something I can let go.
Today I know… that this particular problem… is better released with love and prayer…. that I should accept it and differing points-of-view… and let it go.
“Dear God, help me to act with a loving heart. When I am struggling with perspective, help me to see clearly other points-of-view.”
I have felt defensive at times going through the divorce and have moments when I just didn’t want to “see” another point of view. Being emotionally wounded doesn’t mean you’re own viewpoint is always right , so I’m trying to be more open!
It is hard, in the beginning, to see another point of view. At first… I was just too hurt and too angry to do so. I looked at all the time I had put into the marriage, how many struggles I had endured, and then was overwhelmed by his ultimate cheating and betrayal. It took several years for me to have the ability to have perspective. I had moments of clarity along the way but time has made the biggest difference. For us, being apart really was for the best. Our spiritual and moral foundations did not align and I would have spent a life time trying to get them to do so! 🙂 D.