February 6th: Reality

February 6th

In the past, when I would fall in love with someone, I would completely lose myself in the intensity of the emotions.

Overwhelmed with joy and passion, I would rush blindly ahead without looking at the reality of the situation.

It felt so good to be loved, desired, attracted to another person that… my feelings would override my logic and soon… as the intensity wore down… I would be in a relationship with a partner that was not a good match for me.

Lost in the fantasy of what he could be…

Lost in the fantasy of what we could be…

My entire life would change to “chaotic” and I would most often end up in a care-taking relationship, where my own needs were waylaid, while my mind stayed firmly focused on my new “man of potential.”

Today, I know that I must rein my emotions in and take the time to look at the reality of things before jumping in both feet.

Is this new partner on the same life path as me?

Does he have the same core values?

Has he proven to be trustworthy and loving with partners in the past?

If I don’t look honestly for “red flags of behavior” the reality is… that I could end up repeating an old familiar relationship, from my past, with a new partner.

A relationship that did not serve me well and would not serve me well in my new life.

“Dear God, help me to see the reality of things. Help me to be guided on this new path.”

8 thoughts on “February 6th: Reality

  1. Reblogged this on Solving Maria and commented:
    I don’t feel like I can blog anymore since Adam is reading. So in the effort to keep a balance, I’ll start reposting blogs that are meaningful to me.

    I will write my own post on Sundays as I keep track of my healthy goals.

  2. When I look back on the tumult that started a year ago right now, and where I actually am now, I appreciate this post so much. It seems at times my marriage wasn’t even grounded in reality anymore — what happened to that person that I couldn’t be apart from? What happened to “me” also? All I feel right now and hear in my head is “proceed with caution”. When I loved someone, I made what I thought was an enduring commitment; and, I could only see the joy and the passion. Hopefully life’s lessons are going to show me and teach me how to take what happens now, a step at a time!

  3. Love this post.
    I going to be learning to take a step back and understand now I feel and who someone really is. I get caught up in the passion too…

  4. THAT is a CONSTANT struggle. I still catch myself throwing all my energy out to a new friend (not even a romantic relationship) and giving my all and giving up information that is personal… and then finding out that this person is not a trustworthy choice. I’m making a conscience effort these days to let new relationships unfold SLOWLY. πŸ™‚ D.

  5. So we’re at 3 years today that I blew up and confronted my ex … Before anything ” happened” except lies , plans , and deception. Cowardice , fear and alcohol/ drugs sent our relationship into the abyss.
    It’s so distant now.
    When I see the whole picture now , I truly wouldn’t have survived without the divorce.
    We didn’t gave children so the disconnect over this time has helped me heal more so, I some ways.
    How did I ever stay in the marriage so long πŸ™‚
    We can each ask ourselves many questions .
    The loving relationship , the bond , the trust … It was there. I remember .
    Then over a few years it degraded .
    The relief
    Thank you for being here. πŸ™‚
    We didn’t have

    • I can read between the typos! πŸ™‚ It’s funny how time does move us through… I RARELY think about my ex on any given day… once in awhile he will come up in conversation… a funny story or a horrible one… but it makes complete sense to me now why we aren’t together and I am so thankful that I took the time to mourn the loss and heal myself before moving forward with someone new. It makes ALL the difference!

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