There was a line I heard once in a movie where the character said, “Banishment is hell for one who knows his rightful place.”
I remember being struck by the force of that statement when I was in the middle of my divorce: Feeling that I, the wife, had lost my rightful place in my husband’s life and was now banished from it… an outsider where I was once… the queen.
It was hell.
The character in the film ends up going through intense despair and distress until he is able to find a way to emotionally accept the changes in his situation.
It is not easy to let go of someone we love.
It is not easy to go from being married to separated, to divorced.
It is not easy to feel that you have been “demoted” from a significant other to an acquaintance.
But the only way to move through the pain and despair is to accept things the way they are today and let go.
Holding on to what is out of my control only adds to my heartache.
I must continue to put the focus back on me, my spiritual footwork, and have faith that my Higher Power has a perfect plan for me.
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“Dear God, help me to accept things as they are. Help me to find peace in the moment.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
I love this. I hadn’t thought of it in such a way. Where holding on to what I can’t change is only adding to my heartache. I’ve been struggling with not having control over anything my husband does now that we are separated. It’s a hard pill to swallow. To feel like you no longer matter to the one person who mattered entirely to you.
Yes… it is one of the worst feelings I have ever felt in my life… time will bring you relief… I promise…. and until then… just work to move forward one day at a time (one minute at a time if necessary) but you will get through this… I promise! D.
Reblogged this on Missives by Michelle and commented:
When I revamped my blog it was with the great intention of not mentioning my divorce again. I have realized that my divorce is part of my past, a piece of the puzzle that makes me who I am. I am working hard to not allow my divorce define me.
I stumbled upon a blog on divorce that I began to follow. Almost daily she describes my feelings to a tee. I think she is emotionally ahead of me, but it gives me encouragement that one day I too will be where she is. I thought I would pass it on so that someone else might get the same encouragement that I have received.
There’s no better way to talk about acceptance and letting go, D. Hits every twinge and bright spot!
I still have to work this through everyday …