Sometimes I take myself to a place I know I shouldn’t go: a place of self-pity.
Self-pity does nothing to help me grow, and everything to make me feel miserable in the moment.
In the past, I would often run to self-pity, look for it, let it consume me, and therefore, I didn’t have to look at the work I needed to do to move past my pain.
Self-pity is always a distraction from the work at hand and a way to live in our sorrows.
Today, when I am feeling sorry for myself, I allow myself a moment to grieve, a moment to cry, a moment to feel down, and then I do what I need to do to get back on track:
I call a friend who will offer me support.
I busy myself with my tasks and chores for the day.
I write about my feelings so that I can address my problems later when I am in a better state of mind.
I help someone else… and use my strength to help them combat their own pain and suffering.
Self-pity is a crutch that I choose not to lean on… a bad habit that must be removed… if I choose not to indulge in it… I choose to move forward with strength and faith.
–
“Dear God, help me to remove self-pity from my day-to-day life. Give me the strength to move forward with courage and dignity.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
Always on the mark as usual 🙂 🙂
Love you Thetis.
On the mark is right… I’ve had to pull away from the thoughts of: did I “deserve” this? Am I a victim? Woe is me? I don’t go there too often, but you’re right – when the thoughts go there it’s time to get on to something in the present and something active and worthwhile!
It is so easy to go there… but then I remember the past and compare it to the present and think… Wow… I have a lot to be grateful for!
Here we are again 🙂
Two years later – grateful … And at peace .
And I mean I do “get it” now …
I had an unexpected and weird experience the other day /
My ex doesn’t live in the area with his girlfriend , but comes in apparently for some errands or banking –
I walked into a store and heard his voice , saw him at the counter with his friend …
He didn’t see me ; I left , went to my car and made it far enough to throw up right by it.
I was amazed at the physical reaction because the emotions have faded so much-
I sat in my car and watched them leave … I know him so well . The body language of them walking together – it had 0 vitality .
I know he’s mentioned to friends/ family that they scream at each other – what a love nest.
I didn’t lose a moment of sleep – but it was surreal. We have never spoken since I moved out 27 months ago.
Oh Patricia… man I wish I had been with you…. I remember being physically worked up like that to the point of vomiting… I know that your mind logically sees what is happening… but be kind to yourself today… you may have some residue from that experience and some tears may flow. I had a set back yesterday morning… a verbal bout with my son (Now 25) he pushed my triggers related to my ex… and I unloaded with both barrels trying to destroy my ex-husband to my son… Needless to say… I sat in the parking lot at my job crying before going in and telling my own students the mistake I made… why I needed to share… why I needed to apologize and then promptly contacted my son.
It was amazing to me that after all of these years… something so intense could rise to the surface as if we had broken up yesterday.
And of course my October 24th writing just popped up and slapped me in the face this morning! LOL… lesson learned… yet again… D.