I used to believe that “giving up” on someone or something was a sign of weakness on my part.
I have always been such a fighter… unwilling to give in… unwilling to see that maybe I wasn’t supposed to continue on a particular path that I thought was surely the right path for me.
I prided myself on my strength… my determination… my ability to march on despite all obstacles and continue on my “forced path” just to prove I could succeed at my agenda.
And then one day, I realized that I had exhausted myself… depleted my own resources time-and-time again… to support ideas, goals, people, that weren’t really meeting my needs in any way.
It was hard for me to admit it… but I realized that giving up was not a sign of weakness it was a sign of strength, spiritual knowledge, and maturity.
If I have given my all, if I have tried my best, if I have done everything in my power to make something succeed over a significant period of time and it still isn’t working… then I have to be honest with myself, put my ego aside, and admit that maybe this is not the right path for me… that maybe… it is time to give up… and that my Higher Power is trying to point me in a different direction… a better direction… my true spiritual path that I am choosing to ignore by being resistant to giving in due to my own stubborn self-will.
Today, I still struggle to decide when it is time to give up on people or plans I have fought so fiercely for… but that doesn’t mean I have lost my spirit.
My fighting heart has not diminished it’s need to hold on and hope for the best… but now… I work to put my energy towards what really matters: praying for direction and accepting the answer in the outcome.
“Dear God, help me to let go of self-will, and to remove ego from my life decisions. Help me to give up the fight, and win the spiritual battle, by listening for direction through constant contact with you.”
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I’m glad that my words were there for you. I’m here. You will make it through to the other side. D.
I’ve had to get real about giving up as well as giving in, going through the divorce. And I will need to learn, continually, to do so.
I feel very much as you described!
I didn’t want to “lose the fight”, be weak, feel I didn’t do all I could.
But, I did the best I could.
And giving up has helped in the healing…
Yes…. it felt like “my failure” in the beginning but it wasn’t my failure…. I did the best I could, I was willing to stay committed and work it through, but my husband was unable to do so… I have to remember that… Once I let go… things really changed for the better. I still have problems and setbacks but I have an amazing crew of supportive people to help me through… 🙂