When I was married, I often felt that I wasn’t being heard.

I would come home from work and want to discuss the hardships of my day or…

I would be upset over an incident with a friend and want to rehash the problem with my husband or…

I was stressing over bills, matters of the house, and felt an immediate need to always discuss it.

After my divorce, and much spiritual footwork, I realized that yes… it is important to be heard but… that sometimes… we must put other people’s needs before our own.

How many times had I truly listened when my husband wanted to be heard?

So caught up in my own world, I often forgot that my husband’s world was just as important.

I couldn’t help but wonder:

Had I listened?

Had I shown compassion?

Or did I fuss and pout because I felt my needs weren’t being met?

Sometimes in life we must step back from our own needs and understand that another’s needs may be more important at that particular time.

If I had come home from work concerned over the day and found my husband in poor health… would I have still expected him to meet my needs? Shoulder my burdens?

No.

I would have waited… put his needs first… and chose to address my needs later if they still seemed pressing.

Today I have learned to think before I fight to make myself heard:

Is it necessary?

Is it important?

Is it kind?

If not… maybe it is time for me to take a step back and work towards making someone else feel heard… to try my best to meet another person’s needs.

_

“Dear God, help me to be clear in my needs. Help me to know when I must put myself first and when I need to humbly and thoughtfully, be there for someone else. If they are feeling worn down by the world let me be the one to stand strong for them.”