Sometimes I catch myself doing too many things, and it is then that I have to stop and be honest with myself.
I have a way of wanting to be there for everyone, working on too many different creative things, and keeping my plate constantly full.
It is admirable to live life “full force” to give my all to friends, family, colleagues, students, projects but… in the end… I have to stop and decide: What do I really want?
Do I want to be the best parent?
What does that entail?
Do I want to be the best teacher?
How does that look?
Should I be focusing on creative endeavors?
What would I have to give up?
And what about love?
How much of myself am I willing to give?
I don’t always like being honest with myself… I often times just want things to go on as is… without giving up anything… without making a decision… but the truth is…
Sooner or later… I will spread myself too thin… I will be too worn… and I won’t have enough energy left for anyone.
Life is about making choices… making decisions… deciding what really matters and putting all of your focus towards what you truly love.
Being honest with myself about what I want is the first step to a happier and healthier life.
_
“Dear God, help me to be pure in my intent. Help me to follow the path that leads to my true calling.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
Well this post is great timing. Aren’t they all!
Too much happening to me or at me, the past 10 days.
I have felt the healing process has moved along well and then a crash came — things that happen that I can’t change or control — like my ex returning to town after so many months away and fear of running into to him and his new life; my job potentially fading out.
Talk about being honest with yourself.
Things change and you have to roll with it and keeping living and moving along.
Haven’t posted comments past week or so — hope you might have some thoughts here.
I need to be honest with myself that my worries aren’t symptoms of falling back.
Sometimes you just don’t feel like facing all this stuff when ” well, I’ve been through so much already” kind of mind talk … 🙂