It is a gift to be able to discern the true nature of a situation.
Years of spiritual footwork and reasoning through my own problems and mistakes with mentors I trust, has provided me with insight into my own motives… and the motives of others.
After spending time really looking at “my part” in things… it becomes quiet easy to see what I am no longer responsible for.
It also becomes easier to see when others are acting or reacting from their own “shadow self.”
Today, I am amazed at how often I can see exactly why someone has acted poorly, spoken cruelly, distanced themselves, or chosen to cling too closely.
By examining my own past, I am able to move forward with insight and therefore step back from a situation and show empathy, compassion, and kindness when it truly is most needed.
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“Dear God, help me to see what is right in front of me. Help me to be kind when I find myself prepared to react.”
Daily Divorce Meditations 
I’m starting to understand what you’re talking about. It can be difficult to not be immediately involved or react to someone’s comments to me or to discussing their own issues and I have tendency to “take these things in”.
Lately with so many very tough things happening it’s hard to step away mentally.