February 26th: Amends

February 26th-Amends

When I was first going through my divorce, I didn’t feel that I owed my spouse an amends.

I was adamant that the break was all of his doing… all of his choice.

I convinced myself that we were all suffering, our entire family, because he was completely at fault and totally unreasonable.

But, as time moved me through my pain, I started to see my part in things.

It wasn’t easy to look at the mistakes I had made, my character flaws that were suddenly so glaring, the harm I had done to my own husband, but it was an important part of my spiritual footwork and spiritual growth to be honest about my behavior in our relationship.

I found that at first, the only way I could make a true amends was to make a living amends.

So, until I was able to find the words “I’m sorry…” I choose to act in a kind, compassionate manner and think before speaking.

When I finally felt ready to make a verbal amends… I did so… and by owning my part and being honest about it with my former spouse, I was able to move on and open my heart to him once again.

Today, I take great peace in knowing that we are still friends, that he is in my life, and in the lives of my children.

Making an amends not only soothes the souls of those I may have hurt, but it also soothes my soul and allows me to forgive myself for the mistakes of my past, and learn how to behave differently in my future relationships.

“Dear God, help me to make an amends when needed. Help me to put ego and pride aside and heal myself and all those around me with humble and compassionate words.”

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