Learning to trust again after my divorce was and still is very difficult.
As soon as my emotions become part of the equation… as soon as I start to really feel something for someone else…
I start to question everything.
Each change in text, conversation, action, seems like a “red flag” for a negative change that may be heading my way.
I am amazed that after so many years I still find myself reacting to events from my past.
It is good to be cautious… but not to the point of alienating others with constant questioning and mistrust.
I have to give those I love time to prove that they are trustworthy before passing judgement on the relationship.
If I find that there are similar patterns repeating once again in my life, then I can calmly make the decision to leave.
But to keep people at an arm’s distance, to judge them unfairly, to always jump to negative conclusions, does not help me to grow on my spiritual path and become the person that I hope to be.
“Dear God, help me to be aware but not to unfairly judge. Help me to be observant, but not to react in haste.”
I’m not yet ready to be in a relationship but I can already tell that after having trust shattered, by the one I trusted most, is going to be difficult for me to accept as real.
You will end up with a lot of false starts… I tended to pick men similar to my husband at first not realizing at the time…. I would end up with the same problem: a shadow relationship. I have been with my current man for almost nine years…. he was so different from my husband…. he complimented my true self…. and soon the shadow self and my fears and insecurities related to my earlier relationship dysfunction faded away as he proved himself time and time again by being true to his word. 🙂 D.
I am so happy (and relieved ) to hear that.
It’s been in the back of my mind that I could repeat previous mistakes going forward.
But I do believe there are people out there who are caring and can be trusted, and I hope I will recognize that as time continues to heal me.
Thank you !