Just this morning I was in the middle of an emotional conversation with a friend I deeply care about.
I had asked him repeatedly to change certain behaviors, related to me, that I felt were detrimental to our relationship.
However, no matter how many times I asked, no matter how many times I tried to explain that his actions were causing me pain, my friend was not able to follow through in regards to my requests.
He was sometimes apologetic for his behavior…
Sometimes full of excuses… but nothing ever changed.
I hated asking again and again: Adults should not have to ask adults requests repeatedly, especially those they love, and I have learned, over the years, that if you ask someone to meet your request more than once and they are unable to do so… you have your answer:
They are either unable or unwilling to provide what is needed in regards to the specific request.
I must then decide: Am I able to accept the relationship on these terms?
If not… I may have to step away from the situation until my friend either understands why this is so important to me and comes back; willing to try and work towards meeting my needs or… I come back to the relationship accepting it on the present terms.
“Dear God, help me to be calm when I feel at odds in a relationship. Help me to look clearly at the situation and be honest about my expectations and my needs.”