For the last several weeks I have felt that I have wandered off my own spiritual path through actions I believe to be adverse to my spiritual growth.
And though I am trying my very best not to beat myself up regarding every mistake I have made along the way… I have caught myself involved in one of my least favorite defense mechanisms: projecting.
I have been projecting my undesirable thoughts and feelings onto a person that I truly love… and punishing this person for a crime they haven’t even committed… haven’t even considered committing… and probably never would.
It is the residue from my past.
The fear of being hurt once again by someone I love.
The story of my divorce carrying over into my new relationship.
When I project, I become a shadow version of the true me and drive a wedge between myself and those I love.
It is harmful skewing of my world.
Projection creates a false reality that becomes real in my own mind and leads me down a path of constant worry, anxiety, fear, and ultimately despair.
I have to step back and address my own issues so that I can return to a strong spiritual foundation and place my trust back where it belongs: in those I love.
“Dear God, help me to think before I act. Help me to overcome my anxiety and have faith in those around me.”
I’m taking more time yet, only nine months since separation and six months since the divorce, before I can feel comfortable about developing new relationships, but I’ve noticed that I’m ultra sensitive and get anxious at times even with my close family and friends.
I do have issues with trust and being afraid of having my feelings hurt, and I’ve projected this onto others in a few instances.
I wasn’t really sure why I was reacting this way, and your words made me so much more aware of this! 😊
I went to see my woman mentor this morning because I have been feeling a bit “off.” She said, When reality becomes your friend, recovery is here to stay. Whew…. so true… practicing living in the reality of the moment and being okay with it…. hard not to react some times! D.
D, I’m also finally realizing that I am in fact in recovery, and no longer in denial. I truly lost my partner to “multi-substances”.
It still breaks my heart but I least I can say it now.
Reality is my friend now, when I think of what you said… and all has happened fortunately , or unfortunately, for the best.
I am free and also out of a daily brand of pain I’d care not to repeat.
I’m grateful for family, friends, health, new business, and the opportunity to still live life.
I couldn’t have said it better…. Lifetime practice…. accepting reality as my friend 🙂 D.