Most people in my life are amazed that I am afraid of anything… I tend to come off so sure of myself and strong.
But like everyone… I do have fears… some real… some perceived… and though I am often brave, their are times where I allow my fear to get the better of me.
Lately, I have been full of fear: fear of rejection, fear of being out of control, fear of sharing my thoughts and feelings, and this fear has been driving my actions.
I do not like being dominated by my “shadow self” by my self-doubt and insecurities.
It leaves me in a state of apprehension and worry and soon… my focus on what is important in life: the people I love, my work, my creativity… all take a back seat to my fears.
When I find myself in this place… I must remind myself that I am reacting to “false evidence appearing real.”
This fear is my own creation based on:
Memories of my past hurts driving my emotions in my present relationships.
Fear of my own actions or reactions that I am projecting onto other people.
Fear that I will fail… that I will be perceived as weak for letting someone know that I need help.
It is hard to stand back from the emotion of fear when it overwhelms but to walk through it I must do just that: observe it… acknowledge it… and admit to myself that this is my ego struggling with the unfamiliar and clinging to what I know and trust even if what I know and trust… is dysfunctional.
I must be brave when faced with “false evidence appearing real” and pray for guidance as I move through it and towards a higher spiritual path.
“Dear God, help me let go of false fear and focus on the truth. Help me to willingly and bravely acknowledge my apprehension and worry as I work towards letting it go.”