Lately I have been struggling with difficult choices.
In my day-to-day life, when it comes to making decisions at work, or giving others advice… I excel at being decisive and direct.
But… when it comes to my heart… when it comes to love… I often still struggle.
My divorce left me wounded and so, when I find myself confronted in a relationship with a difficult choice to make, I’m not quite sure how to react:
If I react with haste: I berate myself for not being patient.
If I don’t react or set boundaries: I berate myself for being a people-pleaser, a doormat.
I am amazed, after all of this time, that I am still triggered by the painful experiences of my past.
Today, when faced with difficult choices, I ask myself the following things:
Is it good for me?
Is it good for my family, my love ones?
Am I making this decision out of fear?
Have I set aside a significant amount of time to give careful thought to my choice?
Have I talked it through with friends I trust? Looking at all angles before making a decision?
Will there be consequences to my choice and can I accept them?
Difficult decisions should not be made in haste.
It is important to not be rash when it will affect my own heart and the heart of someone I love.
“Dear God, help me to be calm as I work through my feelings related to a difficult decision. Help me to trust in my own internal compass and your guidance.”
I’m not sure how to feel some days. Can I be open to who I really be could spend time with so soon?
Choices would be tough… And friends who would like to “reunite” is not the best medicine for either of us right now.
Too soon to think about a new relationship and I don’t want my divorce to be a topic of interest.
I feel like I’m walking around with the scarlet letter “D” on my forehead!! 🙂
Take all the time you need… it’s your path… not theirs… and if they bring it up and you don’t want to talk about it… just say so… if they are good friends they will let you be… if they don’t… stay away until you can deal with them…. 🙂 D.