When I was going through my separation and ultimately… my divorce, I often found myself overwhelmed by anxiety, stress, and fear.
The lack of control I had in regards to the end of my relationship was putting me in a constant state of agitation.
I went back-and-forth between “fight” or “flight” either engaging in arguments with my husband in order to have any type of interaction with him and find a way to feel powerful or, I would hide from him… from the demise of our marriage by basically living in my bedroom, and self-soothing with movies and comfort food.
Unfortunately… these coping mechanisms were only adding to my anxiety, stress, and fear.
If I engaged in an argument, I berated myself for my lack of spiritual fortitude and if I hid and self-soothed, I berated myself for my lack of will-power.
It was a never ending shame spiral that intensified my fear.
Out of balance, emotionally worn, physically out of shape and tired, I was falling deeper into depression.
With the help of good friends and kind mentors, I learned that these behaviors did not suit my needs.
I learned that the best way to conquer my anxiety, stress, and fear was to take care of my emotional and physical well-being even when it was the last thing I wanted to do.
I thought of my children… and imagined what I would say… or do for them…. if they were suffering.
I held that image firm in my mind as I began to take better care of myself through, spiritual footwork, healthy nutrition, and daily exercise.
Each of these three things began to work in my favor, turn the tide of my despair, and send me moving forward.
I found that my stress and anxiety began to slowly dissipate as I put more effort into my well-being and less thought into my fear.
“Dear God, help me to take care of myself when I am struggling. Help me to find comfort through healthy means.”