Today was a difficult day.
I was challenged.
I was triggered.
I was emotionally worn and unable to stay as calm as I would have liked.
But even in my worst moments I was able to do two things:
One, explain to the people I love and care about that I was having a bad day, that I was having a hard time controlling my emotions, and that I would do my best not to take my frustration out on them.
And two, I was able to stop several times and say to myself: How important will this be a month from now? Six months from now? A year? Five years?
And find solace in the fact that what I was so worked up about today, would pass into oblivion in a very short amount of time.
It is so important to find evidence of spiritual growth on days that I am triggered.
Everyone has bad days… everyone struggles with emotions.
I need to be kind to myself and realize that triggers are part of life… challenges we all face… and I must continue to find how to face each… with grace and dignity.
“Dear God, help me to surrender. Help me to let go of what is out of my control and accept that today, I have done my best and that tomorrow, I will be able to start fresh again.”
This isn’t “D Day” for nothing.
A year ago today was one of the worst as I was still living with my “ex”, we were just weeks from moving from our home that was in escrow, and I walked in later in the evening to hear him telling the OW he loves her. He was so out of it he didn’t sense me standing right behind him “taking the punch” as he blathered about what he was going to do, what they would “have” from the divorce proceeds. A major load of crap basically.
It was one of the most insulting , hurtful incidents from someone I had known loved and trusted for soooo long.
But, a year later, it feels different , and related to your post today … It’s behind me – and I doubt it will warrant any further triggers or “anniversaries” of thought in the years to come. But one has to be so careful about what the mind holds on to!!
Triggers definitely have me feeling like there’s a “loaded gun” pointed at my heart. I’ve dealt with them a lot because things that seem to be small, can blow up into something very emotional for me. That’s when I say, “Aha! Trigger!” Anything that is a past reminder of pain can come back to haunt me with a trigger. Just knowing that has helped me because it shines understanding upon my feelings. Then I can use self-talk to tell myself, “Gee, I felt criticized by that statement – kind of like I felt all the time in my marriage. Glad that’s behind me!”
Judy… that is so funny you said “criticized by that statement” I had a week where I felt that way EVERY way I turned… I finally had to step back and really look to see if I had any part in it… I didn’t… it was there issue and after a few days I was able to bring the emotion back down but WOW… I hadn’t felt that way since my marriage and I was surprised how that trigger set me off! D.
This has happened to me so often and I’ll share what really helped me, too. Have you ever heard of “The Four Agreements?” My hypnotherapist clued me into one of those that made a difference. It was, “Don’t take things personally.” Wow – when I hear someone say something critical, I just give it back to them. It’s their “shtick” – not mine!
Love The Four Agreements… great to follow…. It’s the story we tell ourselves isn’t it? Doesn’t mean that it is true! 🙂 D.