Lately I have been struggling with resentments. It happens from time-to-time and even when I am working really hard to stay balanced or focused on my spiritual footwork, situations… relationships come along that create problems. In the past, I chose to hold resentments… for a day… a month… a year…. unwilling to admit that it damaged me… my self-esteem… my self-worth… my peace… my balance: and not the person or situation I was resenting. In fact, they usually continued on in their own life, most often blissfully unaware of my perceived slight, as I reverted farther into my shadow self and allowed my anger and frustration to consume me… obsessed with how I had been “wronged…” how I had been “damaged…” how I deserved an amends. Today, after many years of spiritual footwork, I take time to calm down from the situation and ask myself “How important is it?” and if I find it is really something silly in the grand scheme of life… I choose to let it go. However, when I am truly suffering through a more serious struggle, I find myself able to ask for clarity from my Higher Power, consult with a trusted friend, and then… when the time is right, express my feelings regarding the particular situation or the person I am feeling resentful towards. I cannot be sure that everything will be resolved through the conversation, but I can be sure that my side of the street is clean, my voice has been heard, and that if I am unable to settle the matter at that moment… more will be revealed by my Higher Power over time and maybe… lead me to resolving my own pain. – “Dear God, help me to have peace of mind in a moment of frustration. Help me to find relief from my resentments and trust in your guidance.”
I’ve been learning my lesson regarding resentment… You hit the nail on the head — I may be bent out of shape about something but the person I’ve directed this toward is rarely aware of why/ how I feel as I do.
I wasn’t as stubborn about holding on to resentment before I went through the divorce , so I know I have to be more open and communicative rather than going into my mental “bunker”. It links to forgiving my ex to some extent , and myself , moving forward .
“mental” bunker… I LOVE That image! Yeah… with me I have to forgive myself… I get angry when I put myself in harm’s way! D.